{I'm sorry if this is painfully boring - I promise I'll have something interesting to say next time.}
Because the work week is so jam-packed and I feel *so guilty* that I get home as late as I do, we try to spend as much time with him as we can on weekends. I take him on long walks and errands and he comes to little league games with us. Today it was gorgeous out and I decided to drive a short 20 minutes to meet Jody and Dustin for lunch. I took Major with me because I knew he'd be fine in the car with the windows cracked (it was about 60 degrees out) and that afterwards we'd take him and baby Sophie on a long walk around Jody's neighborhood. I'd be over my guilt in no time.
That's when I got lost.
That's also when I had to make about 4 U-turns and back into about 3 driveways to turn around.
So he got sick - pretty sick - several times.
So I'm driving, Major's barfing, and there was nothing I could do on the freeway in Houston. He had to ride in his barfy crate the whole way there - and then sit in the car (in a clean yet pad-free crate) while I had my lunch. He got sick on the way home also. Now he's totally strung out and I'm totally guilt ridden once again.
The whole point of the outing was - "I'm going to make up for leaving the house at 7am and getting home at 8pm every night this week". Epic fail.
I just mainly feel like its getting harder and harder to take care of everyone. I guess I'm a little overwhelmed. I've always tried to take the best possible care of all my loved ones and I feel like I'm, for lack of a better term, sucking.
Does anyone ever feel like this?
Oh my gosh do not feel like you're alone on the guilt! I only have one "child" (my dog) to take care of and that is tough enough. I feel the same guilt as well, although my hours changed this year so most mornings (with gym and all) I an gone by 5:15am or so then back at 5pm. I've gotten Moose on a pretty good schedule for pottying, but I still feel horrible that he has no one to play with but his chew bones and toys for 12 hours. I seriously wonder what he does all day. I think they adjust to it though and end up sleeping for most of it. When I can't take him out to play when I get home, I throw a toy in the house while I'm cooking or doing whatever. Regardless the guilt eats away at me. So you are not alone on that. I think you either have to not let it bother you or let it consume you - I think I'm somewhere in the middle, although Jeff would say differently. :) It can definitely be overwhelming - and I'm sure you're doing a great job. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Alyssa - just discovered your blog, added you to my peeps blogroll. And yes. The feeling that your not taking as good care of everyone as you could be ebbs and flows. It's part of the human experience. But then you have good days and good times that make up for it so it all balances out. :o) Love your writing by the way!
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